How to Write Your Vows for an LGBTQ+ Wedding Ceremony

By Annamo January 19, 2026

I will never forget when Tyra and I first sat down to work on our wedding vows.

We were in Florida, tucked away at a small, quiet resort. We had a screened-in balcony where the air felt softer, the world slower. It was peaceful — the kind of setting you think would make writing vows easy.... But it wasn’t.

I quickly realized I didn’t actually know what vows were supposed to be. I stared at the blank page, unsure how to put something so big into words. I wanted to say the right thing, but I didn’t even know what “right” looked like.

Most of what I found or knew as guidance felt deeply traditional and religious — rooted in beliefs and language that didn’t fully reflect who we are or the journey we had taken to get there. As someone whose early influences were very religious, I struggled to separate what I was “taught” vows should sound like from what felt true to me, to us, and to our love as a same-sex couple.

What I wish I had back then was a guide — something affirming, inclusive, and grounded in real LGBTQ+ experiences. Something that said: your love counts, your words matter, and your vows don’t have to fit anyone else’s mold.

That’s why I want to share what I’ve learned.

So let’s get into it — a gentle, affirming guide to help you write wedding vows that feel honest, meaningful, and truly yours.

🌈 A Gentle Guide to Writing Your LGBTQ+ Wedding Vows

Writing your vows for an LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony doesn’t have to follow anyone else’s rules. There is no “right” length, no required wording, and no expectation that your vows sound religious, formal, or traditional — unless you want them to.

This guide is meant to help you reflect, organize your thoughts, and write vows that feel authentic to your relationship and your journey.

1. Start With Your Truth

(LGBTQ+ wedding vows should reflect your real story)

Before you think about promises, start with honesty.

Ask yourself:

• What do I love most about my partner?

• What moments made me realize this was my person?

• What does our love feel like — not what it looks like to others?

Your vows don’t need to explain or justify your relationship. They simply need to speak your truth.

2. Honor Your Journey Together

(Especially important in queer and same-sex wedding ceremonies)

Many LGBTQ+ couples have walked a path filled with growth, courage, and resilience. Your journey matters.

You might include:

• How you found each other

• What you’ve overcome together

• How your partner supported you in becoming your most authentic self

This is not about focusing on hardship — it’s about honoring how your love was shaped.

3. Make Promises That Feel Real

(Inclusive wedding vows are personal, not performative)

Vows are promises — but they don’t have to sound like poetry unless that feels right to you.

Think about:

• How you want to show up for your partner

• What commitment looks like in everyday life

• What you promise to keep choosing, even on hard days

Simple, heartfelt promises often carry the most meaning.

4. Use Language That Feels Like You

(Your LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony should sound like your voice)

Forget what vows are “supposed” to sound like.

Use:

• Your natural voice

• Words you actually say in real life

• Language that reflects your values and identity

If religion isn’t part of your relationship, it doesn’t need to be in your vows. If it is, you get to define how it shows up.

5. Keep It Human

(There is no perfect way to write wedding vows)

You don’t need to:

• Be overly polished

• Memorize everything

• Write something long

You do get to:

• Be emotional

• Be nervous

• Be fully yourself

That’s what makes your vows meaningful.

Final Reminder

Your vows are not a performance.They are a conversation — one rooted in love, choice, and commitment.

Your LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony deserves words that honor exactly who you are.

💬 Need a Little Extra Support?

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to put your love into words, you don’t have to do this alone.

As an LGBTQ+ affirming officiant, I offer vow-writing consultations for couples who want guidance, clarity, or simply a safe space to talk things through. Whether you need help organizing your thoughts, finding inclusive language that feels right, or shaping vows that reflect your journey, I’m here to support you.

Your vows should feel authentic, meaningful, and true to who you are — not forced into someone else’s tradition.

If you’d like to schedule a consultation or learn more about working together, I’d love to connect with you.

✨ Your love deserves words that honor it.

annarmo77@gmail.com